im not going down like this

In the the month or so while i was in the hospital i lost so much weight. i had let my condition get so bad i went from 145lbs to 105 lbs and at 5ft 7in 105 is not healthy. The dm had eaten my muscles so fast. I returned home and was basically paralyzed i couldnt lift my own arms high enough to brush my hair and i certainly couldnt walk or get up from anywhere on my own so isat there and stred blankly at the tv or out the window. I didnt want to bother the working normal people so i sat ther and cried and thought and cried some more. I was told i had to eat pureed food cuz the muscles in my throat were so weak they thought id choke on chunks of food. Personally i found it harder to swallow the pureeed food because it would stick to the back of my throat and was soooo annoying. I didnt mmind the taste but i found small bites with someting to drink was easier. neways after 6 months of being pretty much paralyzed i had had enough. Im not going down like this i thought and i began to feel anger and the will to fight. I started to do small things to gather my strength. Small steps help! small steps help! and my journey with learning to cope and find ways to get around and get things began.