Monday, July 20, 2009

my heart

When the nurse tells you somethings not right with your heart and they want to order all kinds of monitors, you panic. It is something I felt was happening for a while and I told my docs about it. I went to the cardiologists but my appt to see my rheumatologist isnt till 2 more weeks then he will tell me what the results were. The problem is that since my appt. my heart is getting worse. The nurse says it jumps from 90 to 114 the 90 to 120 and so on in a matter of seconds. It is beating all over the place. I want to know whats wrong. Im scared and I hope that there is some pill that can control it or fix it or something. Im 28 freakin yrs old I shouldnt have heart attacks and heart problems at my age. I should be strong and all those things young people are, i feel old. This only happens to older people. Im angry and betrayed by my own body. Im usually positive but lately it seems like things arent controlled. Just when I felt i had learned to cope with DM and now this. How much can one person handle. Thats what i hate about DM is you cant control it.Its so freakin unpredicatable. when I called the one person other than my husband im closest to to tell them they said they had to go they were busy. To busy to hear that im freakin out and i think im gonna die! I probably wont but i feel like it because your heart is precious and when you lose power over the heart its bad. i tried to ignore it and believe it was in my head and to actually hear it is scary. Its like being diagnosed for thefirst time with DM all over again. I HATE PREDNISONE! Stupid drug that saves my life kills me too. HOW IRONIC!

3 comments:

  1. If you're scared, your pulse can go up quite suddenly, and that is normal.

    If you have chest pains, you should probably go to a hospital emergency room. Be sure to tell the triage nurse you have chest pains, and describe what they feel like. If you describe what might be a heart attack, you won't have to sit in the waiting room.

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  2. Does your rheumy have you on any prednisone sparing agents, like azathioprine, methotrexate, mycophenolate, cyclophosphamide?

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  3. Just a note to let you know I appreciate you sharing your story and struggle with DM. I'm thinking of you in these troubling times and hope things get better for you. Keep track of what you're experiencing (and when - after activity or busy day, etc) so you don't forget anything by the time you see your Rheumy.
    Loralie

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